“In doctor’s-office-lighting, I didn’t tell you I was scared, that was the first time we were there” – Soon You’ll Get Better by Taylor Swift
In the dim lighting, tears run down my face.
Doctors with puzzled faces glance at me.
Office after office my mom and I walk in with hope, and leave with frowns. In any
lighting, answers are uncertain and wildly unfair.
I hope and wish on stars for answers. I
didn’t know that one day, pain wouldn’t go away.
Tell me why, why it’s always me?
You sympathetically smile at me with sad eyes.
I left that day with no hope.
Was this all just a bad dream? I wish.
Scared thoughts now fill my day instead of just living a normal teen life.
That takes up my energy.
Was there ever meant to be answers? I always wonder.
The pain takes over my life on a daily basis. The
first time I cried over you left me helpless and weak
Time is now a restraint and a test.
We spend time driving back and forth between appointments and doctors.
Were we ever truly able to live?
There are never celebrations, not even when all results come back negative.