Phoebe

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Recorded by the author at The Mark Twain House & Museum, July 22, 2025

“You, my dear sister,
are Phoebe.”

My sister needed a real-life Phoebe Caulfield
for her English class Catcher in the Rye project 
pointed the Polaroid at me —
click, flash.

I hadn’t read Catcher in the Rye,
I didn’t know if I should feel flattered
or insulted.

All I knew was my sister found me annoying. 
She never hung out with me,
never talked to me.
Our “bonding time”
was chasing each other with knives,
ripping out chunks of hair,
and the occasional ceasefire
when our brother was being
a major jerk.

I used to steal all her things —
clothes, food, books,
Especially her camera.
She saw a kleptomaniac.
I just wanted to be her.
She has this fearlessness 
This passion for justice 
Unrelenting drive that I was envious of. 

As we grew up
began to mature 
The distance lessened 
Petty fights turned into
The deepest conversations 
And car rides with endless laughter 

She became my biggest supporter,
encouraged me to write,
to be friends with the smart girls—
not the mean ones—because
Sondik women are kind,
and we are powerful.

“I called you Phoebe
because you have this ability
to see people at their worst
and still have compassion.
Because you’re authentic
and a little too stubborn.
You keep me grounded,
and you see all of me—
even the messy parts—
and you still call me your role model.
When you finally read Catcher in the Rye,
you’d understand why”

I finally read Catcher in the Rye.
Phoebe is kind, introspective
Keeps Holden grounded  
Just like I do for her. 

My sister and I still bicker like children 
But she saw me with one click. 

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