Mad Madison was the most hated girl in the first grade.
She ruined all of our fun.
When we got 10 minutes on the hill
It was likely caused by her breaking something
Or snitching on someone else.
She sat on a bench by her self
Until a teacher would come join her.
I climbed the first grade hierarchy
Swinging from friend groups like monkey bars.
I played sports with the athletic girls.
I made friendship bracelets with the artsy girls.
I laughed at jokes that weren’t funny
& I watched as Madison was tripped on the woodchips.
The day before Christmas Break
We were coloring reindeers.
My red pencil was as dull as my spirit.
I went to the silver sharpener
& shoved the stub in.
Two twists to the right and the pencil sharpener
Snapped. Right off the hinges.
I left it there broken.
Out the corner of my eye
I see Madison staring at me.
The next morning my victim laid in pieces
On a desk in front of the room.
Under a note that read
“Whoever broke me needs to tell me”
I was never one to confess.
Five days went by and I hadn’t said a word.
Our teacher started punishing all of us
No recess. No nap time.
Each time she pleaded for a suspect to come forward
Madison would meet my eyes
& I would silently shake my head.
She never told a soul.
Madison and I had a secret allegiance.
Emphasis on the secret.
I was too scared to approach her but,
we would share secret smiles and waves.
I’d write funny jokes and slip the notes in her bag.
She’d give me the red gummies because they were my favorite.
But we weren’t friends.
Nothing changed in either of our worlds.
The first day of second grade
I vowed I’d be different.
I would approach her.
I’d invite her to play soccer.
Or maybe make friendship bracelets.
I’d be her friend in public
Not just in secret.
I walked in to class
With my best smile
Excited to see her,
But when attendance began
Her name wasn’t called.
In the halls I heard whispers
“Did you hear Mad Madison moved because no one liked her”
My heart sank in my stomach.
“I liked her.”